


The Moment I Knew

by melissa_jones12991



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: AU, Angst, F/F, I am so sorry, Major character death - Freeform, No Time Bureau, and if you dont know who joss is go watch mistresses, btw joss is ava's twin sister, but ava is still a government agent, but happy ending, but they do die, like REALLY angst, the character doesn't stay dead, you were warned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-08
Updated: 2019-04-10
Packaged: 2020-01-06 23:17:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18398363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melissa_jones12991/pseuds/melissa_jones12991
Summary: This is an AU. Ava and Sara are together. Ava is a FBI Agent and is set to go on a mission a week before Sara's birthday/Christmas. Her assignment causes them to have an argument before Ava's departure. A week later and it's Sara's birthday party and someone still hasn't shown up.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! I really hope that you enjoy this little story that I have written. If you do, please leave kudos and if you want a response!
> 
> By the way, the little // is supposed to be italicized but I couldn't figure out how to get it to do that on here lol. Just wanted to clarify. Thanks for reading.

Ava threw her hands up in frustration as she moved to grab her phone and bag. ""God! You are so damn infuriating, Sara! I don't know why in the hell you just won't listen to me when I am talking to you!" 

Sara scoffed as she leaned against the island in her kitchen. "You're one to talk! I still think it's pretty shitty that you are choosing to leave on an assignment a week before my birthday!" Sara argued, noting the look of hurt flash through Ava's eyes before it was gone.

"I told you, I'll be there! I've told you this several times now! But I cannot just tell my boss that I cannot take an assignment!" Ava retorted. They've been having this argument for the past week and Ava was getting tired of it.

"It is one week before Christmas! What in the hell is so God damned important that you just have to go out now?!" Sara yelled back as she pushed herself away from the island.

Ava sighed and threw her head back. "God Sara, I do not have time for this right now! He said we'd be gone for a few days and then we'll be back."

"Yeah whatever." Was Sara's only response as she looked down towards the ground. 

Ava groaned as she picked up her belongings, walked over towards Sara, and placed a kiss on her head. "Sara, I don't feel like arguing anymore. I have got to go. I love you." She said as she headed towards the door and closed it behind her.

Sara felt tears streaming down her face and angrily wiped them away. It always felt like Ava chose her job over her time and time again, though Sara really knew it wasn't like that at all. It wasn't like Ava was some secretary or something going with her boss on business trips. Ava was a government agent. Sara knew this before they even got together. Yet still, somehow, their arguments about her job never seemed to cease. It was mostly Sara's fault why they happened; she just felt like Ava would inevitably leave her and she feared that happening. No matter how many times Ava reassured her, the thoughts remained.

With a heavy sigh, Sara picked up her phone from the island and sent a text to Ava.

//You better be at my birthday party jerk -S//

//I promise I'll be there Sara. I really am sorry. I love you. -A//

Sara typed "I love you too", but her phone seemed to malfunction before she could sent it. It glitched a few times before shutting off completely. "God damn it! I knew I should have put the damn thing in rice after I dropped it in the tub."

***One Week Later***

Sara pushed her hair back behind her ear for what seemed like the millionth time that night. She eyed the spacious room that was currently occupied with at least a hundred people; all here for the Christmas/Birthday party. Sara was painfully aware of the one person who wasn't there yet; Ava. Sara took a shot of her whiskey before she grabbed the bottle to refill it.

"Hey Sara! Happy Birthday! And of course, Merry Christmas!" Zari greeted as she pulled Sara in for a hug, a slightly somber expression on her face. Amaya and Nate approached behind Zari and gave Sara a small wave. Zari released Sara, turned her around, and rolled her eyes at the pair. Zari had a huge crush on Amaya and was clearly not a fan of hers and Nate's relationship. Zari had been not-so-subtly suggesting for the past several weeks that they go out some time. She made it clear to Amaya though that they didn't have to rush into things. In fact, Zari was quite the fan of taking things slow. She just knew it was hard on Amaya since her and Nate were in an on and off again relationship. They were currently on.

Sara gave Zari as close to a warm smile as she could give." Thanks Z, Merry Christmas to you too!"

"This is a really nice place to throw a party. I'll have to remember this place for my birthday!" Sara said, shooting Sara a smile smile.

Sara laughed lightly as she looked towards the entrance for the millionth time tonight. "Yeah, my dad's pretty great at finding a place like this for special events. I'm surprised it wasn't already booked already since it is Christmas, and it's a Friday. But, uh, you should go talk to Nora! She looks awkward." Sara motioned towards Nora who stood in the center of the venue. She came at Zari's request, though she didn't know too many people there. Nora moved to Star City about half a year ago, and found Zari through an online website, which helped you find roommates. And thankfully for both, it worked out.

"You trying to get rid of me, Sara?" Zari teased.

Sara shook her head at her friend. "No, I just think that it would be polite of you to hang out with her so she doesn't feel so awkward."

Zari thought about it for a moment before nodding her head in agreement. "Yeah you're right. I love the lipstick by the way, it's a perfect shade of red. Really goes well with the dress." Zari winked at her before she made her way over to Nora. Amaya and Nate gave Sara a small smile before walking away, following Zari. 

Sara shook her head again and took a swig of her whiskey. Her eyes widened at the tall blonde just entered the venue. She stopped breathing for a moment, until she noticed it was not who she was expecting, but she was still happy to see the woman. Sara quickly sat down her drink and yelled out for the woman. "Joss!" The woman in question turned her head in Sara's direction and gave her a wide smile. Sara chuckled as Joss hugged her tightly.

"OH MY GOD! Happy Happy Birthday Sara! I've missed you so much, it's been too long! How is my sister?" Joss all but rushed out.

Sara felt her heart drop and gave an awkward laugh. She tucked her hair behind her ears again and look up at Joss, felt a pang of sadness in her chest. Joss was Ava's twin sister, and when Sara first saw her, she hoped it was Ava. But, she quickly realized by the arm candy Joss brought along, that it was most definitely not her girlfriend. "Thanks Joss. I've missed you too. And uhhh.....Aves went out on an assignment a week ago."

Joss's eyes widened in surprise. "What? She's been gone a whole week? That's not like her."

"Yeah, I know. I guess it was a big assignment." Sara felt the tears building up and she had to quickly excuse herself. "Hey Joss, uh, give me a minute okay?" Once Joss nodded her head, Sara rushed to the bathroom and closed the door behind her. The bile rising in her throat, she emptied the whiskey and her dinner into the toilet bowl. Tears were streaming down her face and her chest heavy. "You're supposed to be here Ava. Where in the hell are you?!" Sara cried out to no one. She got up, walked over to grab a tissue and blew her nose as she looked herself in the mirror. She took her a deep breath to steady herself and went back out to the party.

Sara's eyes quickly scanned the area again, only to be disappointed. She wished she had remembered to bring her new damn phone. She could just call Ava and see what the hell was going on. But she had left in such a rush that she left it on the countertop. Sara let her eyes wonder again, until they landed on someone that wasn't supposed to be here. Sara glared at the man from across the room, and the man must have felt her intense gaze because quickly after, his eyes met hers.

Sara could see the man swallow before he slowly made his way towards her. "Gary, what in the hell are you doing here? You weren't even invited after your last little fiasco!"

Gary stammered, "I.....I know. And I'm sorry......but......I..." Gary licked his lips and stared down at the ground. "I uh....I need to speak with you. In private."

Sara was taken back by his tone. Sure, he was skittish at times, but right now...Something was off. She nodded curtly in response and led the way to one of the quiet areas. Sara leaned again the wall and stared at Gary intently. "Okay Gary, so what is it?"

Gary swallowed again, refusing to meet Sara's gaze. "It's uh.....It's about that mission that uhhhh.....Ava was sent on."

Sara's heart felt like it came to a halt before slowly beating again. "What? What about it?"

Gary lifted his eyes to look into Sara's. "She didn't make it Sara."

Time seemed to slow. Gary's lips were moving, but the words were muffled. Sara couldn't process what he had just said. //She didn't make it Sara// She didn't make it to the party? Yes, Sara could see that plainly. But from Gary's somber expression, Sara knew that wasn't what he meant at all. Ava, her Ava, was gone. Tears pricked her eyes once more and Sara pushed past Gary, and past the crowd that formed in the middle of the room. Several people called out for her but she just ignored them.

She kicked off her heels and ran as far as her feet would take her. This had to be a nightmare, or some sick twisted joke. There was no way this was real. No way. It couldn't be. Sara let her feet lead her the three miles it took to get to their apartment. She ran up the seven flights of stairs and fumbled for her keys in her clutch. Once she retrieved them, she stuck them in the doorknob and turned. Sara fell forward with the opening of the door, but caught herself before she hit the ground. She looked around the living room frantically, her eyes jumping from place to place. "Ava?!"

Sara rushed into the kitchen and grabbed her phone. They weren't any new texts on her phone. And then a light went off in her head. It was a new phone. She hadn't set up voicemail yet. Sara quickly called the voicemail number and went through all the bullshit to set it up before she got to the actual voicemails. There were three new ones. She went through them from oldest to newest.

//Tuesday, December 22 11:04 AM//

//"Hey babygirl. Did your phone die because you dropped it in the tub? I told your stubborn ass to put it in rice. Oh well. Anyways, this mission babe, I can't say too much, but it's a bit crazy. Not like.....unsafe or anything, but our guy we're supposed to look after is off. He's way too jumpy. It makes me anxious. Anyways. Director Bennett said we just need to escort him somewhere and then we'll be on our way back. I love you Sara. Bye"//

Sara swallowed thickly before the next voicemail played.

//Wednesday, December 23 2:53 PM//

//"Hey Sara. We're escorting the guy in about an hour, so I should be on a flight back home tonight. I can't wait to see you. I miss you so much. Sorry that I haven't texted. I've had to leave the phone at the hotel while we're babysitting Mr.Jumpy. I promise I'll call you though before I get on the flight. I love you babygirl. Bye"//

Sara took in a deep breath before the last message played. Tears were already streaming down her cheeks. She knew what was coming. Or thought that she did. She was nowhere near ready to accept the truth. There was no way. Ava couldn't be gone. There had to be a mistake. Maybe that's what the last message was. She had to fake her death or something. She'd call her when she was cleared. With that new mindset, Sara pressed play on the last message.

//Thursday, December 24th 12:42 AM//

//Sara..... Baby.... I'm not going to make it. I.... it went south fast. We got the guy where he needed to be but... Apparently Bennett underestimated the man's value. The guys that were after him practically tripled the amount of manpower we had. I took three bullets to the chest. I was wearing my vest sure, but.... I'm pretty sure there's internal bleeding. And we were so far out I.... I don't even know if anyone knows where we were or where we were going."//

Sara could hear Ava's voice hitch over the phone line and she assumed Ava was crying just as much as she was.

//"It's so God damned unfair because... We're supposed to not say anything about what we do but, what about in situations like this? I.... I want to come home. I want to come home to you and I don't.... I don't know that I'm going to make it. I'm so sorry Sara. I should've found a new job. I should've done something different. Because you're so much more important than all of these lies and secrets and... bull shit. I love you so so much Sara. Please don't ever forget that. You're my world. You've made me so happy. You gave meaning to my life again. But baby please... please don't lose yourself over this. Please. I know it'll be hard because I would be the same way if I lost you. But Sara.... please... just fight. Joss will.... Oh God.... Joss... She'll be there for you and you'll be there for her."//

Sara could hear Ava full on crying now, and it was taking everything in her not to scream out in frustration. She had never felt more helpless in her entire life.

//"God, this is so fucking unfair. *sniff* Baby.... Sara.... I'm sorry I won't be able to make it your birthday. I'm sorry I won't be able to come back home to you. I love you. I love you so much."//

The line went dead and Sara sat there frozen. It couldn't be real; this couldn't really happening to her. Ava was right; it wasn't fucking fair. Feeling a sudden rage inside of her, Sara jumped up from the spot on the floor and made her way to the front door. Fortunately, the man she wanted was right on the other side. She grabbed Gary by the collar and pushed him against the wall. "WHERE IS HE DAMN IT?"

"What?! Who?" Gary stammered.

"Director FUCKING Bennett! Where is he?!" Sara demanded.

"He's... He's back at the offices."

Sara's eyes filled with even more rage at his words. "HE LEFT HER TO DIE?!" Sara screamed as she pushed Gary away from her. She rushed out of the front door, jumped into her car and went to the Bureau's field office. She wasn't one hundred percent for certain what their agency did, and she really didn't care. Not up until that moment anyways. Whatever Ava had gotten into could've very well been the death of her. And Sara wasn't about to take that lying down. Once she got to the office, Sara slammed her car door shut and rushed up the stairs of the building. She surpassed the guards easily, and made her way up to the 12th floor. Once the elevators opened, she speed walked to Direction Bennett's office. She pushed the doors open and glared at the man across the room. "You son of a bitch!"

"I expected you to come here-"

He couldn't complete his sentence because Sara rushed him and pushed him up against the wall with her forearm across his neck. "Where in the hell is she?!"

"Mrs. Lance, I'll be more than happy to have this conversation with you if you would let me go." Director Bennett breathed out.

Sara pressed harder against his throat. "No! No games! Just tell me where she is!"

Director Bennett let out something akin to a sigh. "I don't know."

Sara glared at him. "THE HELL DO YOU MEAN YOU DON"T KNOW?!?

"We all got shot at! Me and three of my men got away from the crossfire! When we went back for her, she was gone!" Director Bennett screamed back at her.

Sara back slapped him across his face. "WHERE?! WHERE WAS THE LAST FUCKING PLACE?!

*************************************************************************

So this is chapter one of possibly two unless I decide to continue it. Please don't hate me and let me know what you all think!!


	2. Ch 2

With Zari’s help, Sara was able to pinpoint the location that Director Bennett gave her. Zari also was able to hack Sara’s phone to upload something or another that would let her know when she was closing in on Ava’s phone signal. Every time Sara called her phone, there wasn’t an answer, but Sara wasn’t going to give up hope. Even if Ava was gone, she was going to bring her home and give her a proper burial. But Sara couldn’t…. She wouldn’t believe Ava was gone until she found her. 

Sara came to a stop as she approached crime scene tape. She had expected some sort of police presence but, luckily for her, there wasn’t any. Sara stepped out of her Range Rover and stared up the app on her phone to try to ping Ava’s location. There was a faint signal to the northeast, so that’s the direction that Sara went in. From the looks of it, Ava went after the shooters. Sara couldn’t be surprised. Ava didn’t like to lose anyone. Sara continued on for what seemed like hours before the pings started getting stronger, louder, and bolder on the screen. Sara held her breath as she rounded the corner and then she quickly skidded to a halt. There she was… Ava.

“Ava…. Ava!” Sara ran to her side and dropped to her knees before reaching for her wrist to feel for a pulse. Sara’s heart skipped a beat as she felt a faint pulse there.

“Oh my God! Baby…. Baby you’re gonna be okay. I’m gonna get you out of here, okay?” Sara picked up Ava’s lifeless body and ran as fast as she could back to the Rover. Sara gently placed her in the back seat, strapped her in as best as she could and then hopped into the driver seat. Sara didn’t even bother with her own seat belt as she sped off towards the nearest hospital. 

“Just hang on Aves. Hold on just a little longer, okay?” Sara knew it was useless to try to conversate but it helped her a bit to not lose her shit. She had to get Ava to a hospital. A few miles later, she spotted one and she pulled up to it, hopped out of her seat and then rounded the car to get Ava out of the back seat. Sara rushed into the hospital and yelled for help.

“Hey! Hey help! Someone please help me! My wife is injured and she’s unconscious!”

An array of doctors and nurses quickly surrounded her, took Ava from her and rushed her to the OR. One doctor stayed behind to get Ava’s information from her, which Sara was more than happy to give so long as they helped Ava. She also gave them as much information that she could as to what had happened to Ava. Once the doctor left her to her own devices and promised her that they would come and get her whenever they could, Sara shot off a text to Zari asking for a fake wedding certificate to be sent to the hospital just in case they needed it. They weren’t married yet, but they had both talked about it. Sara knew that if she would’ve just said that she was Ava’s girlfriend that they wouldn’t allow her to see her at all.

Once she got confirmation that Zari had sent it, she let her head fall into her hands and she cried. She was so scared that she had lost Ava. Sara knew that she wasn’t out of the clear yet, but she had hope. She needed to have hope. She wasn’t prepared to live a life without Ava.

*************************************************************

A few hours later, Sara awoke to a tap on her shoulder. She rubbed her eyes tiredly and looked up at the doctor before her. The tiredness wore off quickly and she immediately stood up, almost knocking the doctor down as she did so. “How is she? How’s Ava? Is she okay? Can I see her?”

The doctor put his hand up and Sara took in a deep breath. “You need to remember to breathe. Being in the hospital along with your wife won’t help any Mrs. Lance.”

Sara took a deep breath and nodded in response. “Of course, I’m sorry. I’m just… How is she?”

The doctor rubbed his brown with the back of his hand. “Well, like you said, there was quite a bit of internal bleeding. The vest stopped the bullets, but one could’ve her in her heart. We lost her a few times on the operating table, but she’s stable for right now.”

Sara was so ecstatic that she could have kissed the man. “Oh my God, thank you so much Doctor!”

“She’s still got a ways to go but we’re confident that she’ll pull through. With you by her side, I’m sure she could do anything.” The man said with a warm smile.

“So, I can see her?”

*************************************************

Thirty minutes later, Sara was being led up to the ICU. She had managed to call Joss before she had to go up, so Sara was able to relay the news of what had happened, and Joss was currently on her way.

Sara gave a small smile to the nurse as she walked through the door into Ava’s hospital room. Sara’s breath hitched in her throat as she looked at Ava. She had never once seen her look so small and lifeless. There were several tubes going tinto and coming out of Ava. It was almost too much for Sara to bare but she wasn’t about to leave Ava.

She pulled up a chair to Ava’s bedside and grabbed her hand. Her hand was still cool to the touch, but it helped for Sara to feel her pulse, still beating. Sara took in a deep breath as she felt tears prick her eyes again. “God Aves. I thought…. I thought that you were gone from me forever. But now… Now you’re with me again. You’re going to pull through this honey. You have to. You’re so strong. Hell, you’ve made it this long. You can do anything. Just don’t give up please. Continue to hold on for me…. Continue to fight.”

Sara wiped the tears from her eyes and looked down at Ava. Sara smiled sadly as her bottom lip trembled. “You know… I was going to tell you on Christmas but ummm… things happened…. But I want to tell you now.” Sara sniffed and let out a shaky breath. “We’re pregnant Aves. I’m pregnant with your baby. After so many damn months of trying, we did it.” Sara brough Ava’s hand to her lips and she kissed it softly. “So see? You’ve got to make it through this. I know you can. I want to see your beautiful blue eyes again. I want to try to help you make waffles and you throw flour at me for trying to pick pieces off of it. I want to have silly arguments with you, like which Hogwarts house is the best… and which Spongebob character is best. Bust mostly, I want to marry you. I want to raise our baby with you. I want to grow old with you.” Sara sniffed again and wiped her eyes. “Please make it through this Ava. I can’t live without you. I know that you would want me to, but I can’t so please… Please make it through this.”

****************************************************

The next few days were hell. They lost Ava again when he blood pressure suddenly dropped but thankfully Doctor June was able to get it back under control. Joss arrived a few hours after Sara had called her, so she had been there when they had lost Ava. But Dr. June assured them that they were going to keep a close watch on Ava, and he was still fairly confident that she would make it out of thisl. Sara was beginning to think that he was saying this mostly for himself rather than them. He apparently never lost a patient. Which, while Sara found it incredible, was still odd. It isn’t the doctors fault when they lose someone, it just happens. It didn’t mean that she didn’t still hope that he meant it though.

As more days passed with little to no progress, Sara was beginning to get restless. She just wished that the doctors could tell her something new. Something good new, by the way. She didn’t want anymore bad news. She didn’t think she could bare it.

Doctor June told her that she should go and get some sleep, but she wasn’t about to leave Ava’s side. It didn’t matter if Joss said that she’d be here and would let Sara know immediately if anything happened. Sara wanted to be here; she needed to be here. So she refused to leave time after time. Even after Doctor June told her that would be removing the tubes from her throat because she was breathing better on her own, Sara still wouldn’t leave. Nothing they said could make her leave.

Sara sighed heavily as she held onto Ava’s hand. It seemed to have gotten warmed over the past few days, but then again that could have been because Sara never let it go. Though, as Sara glanced at Ava’s face, she noticed that there was a bit of color coming back to her cheeks. Sara looked up at the monitor and noted that her pulse was 88. A few hours ago it was 65. Sara looked back down at Ava’s face. “Aves?” Sara called out, her voice barely above a whisper.

Sara swore she saw her eyelashes flutter. So Sara squeezed Ava’s hand slightly to see if it would get her to respond; it did. Ava squeezed back ever so slightly. Sara couldn’t stop the smile that threatened to spread across her face. “Ava? Baby, can you hear me?”

Ava’s eyes twitched this time, and Sara didn’t miss it. “Sa… Sara?” Ava rasped out, her voice scratchy.

“Oh my God! Doctor june! She’s waking up! Please get in here!”

Doctor June and Joss rushed in from their conversation in the hallway. Ava’s eyes fluttered the rest of the way open, but she immediately closed them. “It’s so bright.”

Joss immediately turned down the lights as Doctor June made his way over to Ava. “Hello there! I’m doctor Randall June. How are you feeling there?”

Ava licked her lips before she replied, “I’m a bit thirsty.”

Sara immediately jumped up to get a cup of water and put a straw in it so that Ava could drink it easily. “Here baby, drink up.”

Ava’s eyes opened back up and she stared at Sara, tears immediately filling her eyes. “Oh my God, Sara!” She opened her arms up and Sara immediately fell into them. Tears poured from both of their eyes and when they pulled apart, they moved to wipe the tears from each other’s face. “I can’t believe it. You… you saved my life.”

Sara shrugged lightly. “There was no way in hell I was going to lose you.” Sara smiled through teary eyes as she met Ava’s lips.

**FIN**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope that you all liked this! Please don't be mad at me for the end or this chapter! I don't know why you'd be mad at me, but still. Please leave a comment if you liked it.


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